The thought, “I have to go to Bermuda,” kept running through my mind. Regrettably, I’ll be missing the Bermuda race because…It was a spot I and my wife, Dhanushka, had been to often — almost once a year for the first six years of our marriage. And I’d spent a lot of time alone before, whether it was for business or on vacation with my family. My all-time favorite spot was there.
I found peace and solace in the river, the people, and the quiet that I had not experienced anyplace else. I couldn’t wait to take Dhanushka there after we got to know each other and fall in love in 2014. It’s thrilling to meet someone amazing, and immediately want to take them to a particular area. I hoped she would fall in love with it the way I had and that we could share our feelings with one other.
From my seat in the aircraft, I could see you the ocean as it transformed from a standard blue to a mystical cyan. As we strolled down Hamilton’s Front Street, I was able to take her hand and admire the pastel facades of the shops and restaurants we passed. We could stay up all night in a hotel bar, ordering round after round of dark and stormies made with locally sourced ingredients, until we could find our way home and collapse into bed.
The irony is that she fell for it. Naturally, she did. That quickly became her preferred hangout. This is where we stay.
But now I was returning on my own.
Inside Hamilton’s city limits, just a few short steps from from the beach, I discovered an excellent-looking Airbnb. I considered making reservations for a long weekend, but then I realized that Dhanushka would have laughed at the notion. Instead of staying for only three days, why not stay for five?
When riding in a taxi from the airport to Hamilton in phrazle the southwest of Bermuda, I felt a warmth I hadn’t experienced in months as we crossed the famous Bermuda Causeway. The glittering seas on each side of the island appeared to envelop me. When I returned, the taxi driver greeted me with a warm Bermudian accent. A gentle wind caressed my face.
To my delight, my Airbnb turned out to be a cute small studio apartment just above the host’s home. At the front entrance was a large window, a desk, and a bottle of Goslings Rum from Bermuda, along with several cans of ginger beer. As soon as I could, I headed for the water.
Somehow, after all that had transpired, being by the ocean—listening to the waves, feeling the salt in the air, and seeing out into the distance—brought me a sense of calm. I could sit here for hours contemplating life or doing nothing at all.
This, like much of Bermuda, has a stunning panorama. At the bay’s edge, the water was still and, in the sunshine, it seemed otherworldly, as if someone had taken a paintbrush and swung it back and forth, splattering the sea with blotches of sky blue. On the cliff’s edge, a blue home blended in so well that it might have been an island in the sea. From the sea, I could see the orderly rows of pastel houses that marked the approach to Hamilton.
We should have been here together. On the island, we did a few things together, and I participated.
So that we may go swiftly from one parish to another, I leased a Twizy, a small two-seater electric vehicle. That was great, albeit I missed my friend who usually sat in the back and took pictures and touched my shoulder sometimes. I took a ride over to the Swizzle Inn for a rum swizzle and to watch the game with the locals. While I don’t really like soccer, I had a great time since it was so active and distracting.
One night I found my way to Hamilton’s Front Street, a strip of high-end boutiques and restaurants that serves as the island’s commercial hub. After checking in, I went straight to the lobby bar of the Hamilton Princess and sat down. A hundred years ago, kings and queens of the world stayed at the Grand Dame of Bermuda, which is now a great site to people-watch and enjoy locally caught seafood.
Our last holiday together was spent at this hotel on the island. Her 28th birthday was the occasion. Even though it had only been a year after her cancer diagnosis, the disease had already progressed significantly. She rode through JFK in a wheelchair with the same confidence and self-assurance she’d always shown. While around the hotel grounds, I laughed and joked with her to get our attention off of where we could be heading. One night, we were laughing while getting a large order of mozzarella sticks. We spent a long time just lounging by the water. The Princess Ocean Club at the Hamilton Princess is without a doubt the most stunning setting I’ve ever seen in all of Bermuda.
Now that I think about it, I’m not sure whether she felt well enough over those few days to really appreciate it. I’m going to assume she did.
I took my drink outside into the night and watched the lights dance over Hamilton Harbor while listening to the boats at dock rock back and forth with the tide. The stars were so brilliant that you could almost touch them; they were far more numerous than in Brooklyn.
Furthermore, I engaged in certain activities that I’m very certain Dhanushka would have frowned upon had she been around. Maybe she would have, but she quietly let you know she’d rather be somewhere else.
In order to watch the baseball playoffs, I drank far too many of the island’s On De Rock IPAs at Flanagan’s Irish Pub. One of the few baseball fields in Bermuda is very next to the ocean, so I drove the Twizy there to take some pictures. Yet, baseball was not a popular sport in Bermuda (a shame, with fields so beautiful).
I made an effort to cycle the whole length of the ancient railway line that formerly connected both ends of Bermuda. Dhanushka was not a cyclist, so she would have despised this: I got lost many times and nearly caused a large pileup at a roundabout because I couldn’t figure out which side of the road to be on or which way to turn. I had to sweat and cuss my way back to the bike rental shop, which was kilometers away.
Earlier, I visited Port Royal to get in a round of golf. I’m not particularly good at golf, but I still like getting out there and practicing sometimes. Furthermore, Port Royal is the only venue for Bermuda-based competitions. Several of the holes provide picture-perfect ocean or mountain vistas and are situated directly on the shore. Dhanushka didn’t play golf, but it’s safe to assume that she would have been quite satisfied to drive around the course in a golf cart while drinking a mixed can of ginger beer and Goslings and pointing out the spectacular vistas.
The image of her smiling face was so vivid that I almost felt her presence as I slammed another shot into the water.
Coopers Island, a private beach on the island’s eastern tip, was a must stop before I could leave. I heard about it long before I met Dhanushka, and it was one of the first locations I showed her when we finally got together. In the year 2015, on that particular day, we had the place to ourselves. We strolled up and down the shoreline, swam, and lain on the sand while discussing both weighty and frivolous topics. It was even considered giving our prospective golden retriever the name Cooper. The name isn’t too horrible for a canine, right?
